Ephemeral Happiness

for one fleeting moment

The one pivotal moment in each ordinary day I've lived is always found in that long ride home.

I have always lived far from school or work, and I have always hated it. It was always a hassle, having to sleepover someone's house when there was a big project to finish, or when it was too late to drive home in bad conditions, be it due to the weather, my state of mind, my health or physical well-being, or my level of apparent insatiable thirst for intoxication. I always told myself that when I had enough money, I would definitely rent an apartment close to work, no matter the price. Now I laugh at how silly I was, never having realized that my long trips home were the only times I really got to reflect.

Today, on my way home, I had another ordinary/natural but meaningful high. It does not happen often, but when it does, you realize that it doesn't even take a life-changing event to make yourself genuinely happy for a moment. All you need to do is stop and think of everything you have, and everything you've survived, and for a split second, capture (as if in a photograph) that moment when everything SEEMS fine

I use the word SEEM not to, once again, unleash the cynic in me, but to ground the happiness in the reality that it is EPHEMERAL, and therefore even more special than people think it is. It may be fleeting, but therein lies the source of the natural high. You close your eyes, take it in, and say to yourself that for this moment, even just this one moment that can only last a few seconds, everything is right, and life is in fact, worth living.

I may not have discovered any more of the answers in life, and I may not have gained any clarity in the confusion I am always in, but at least, for this moment, I can honestly say that I am happy to be alive and that things CAN BE ALL RIGHT, if only I were patient with time.

I live for these moments...moments when one feels unbreakable.

posted by Mae @ 4:43 PM